A letter came home from school:
"Re: Use of school fields during lunchtime.
"As we are now enjoying some milder weather we will be opening up the school playing fields for lunchtime from Monday 22nd April, so your child can enjoy the extra space it affords us, especially whilst the building work continues around campus.
"We will also be encouraging children to take lunch outside when the weather is good. If you are happy for your child to eat lunch outside, please complete and return the reply slip below by Friday 19th April. Only children with consent will be allowed to take lunch outside."
So obviously one must reply:
"You would only possibly be asking me for permission if there was some hidden danger to this, since no sane parent would refuse their children consent to go outside unless they had some extreme allergy, which presumably they would already have communicated to you. I can only assume therefore that your 'campus' (the term we obviously now use in place of the extremely confusing but similarly syllabled old term 'school grounds') is infested with bears, who are liable to rip my child's head from his shoulders in search of his lunchtime comestibles. I am therefore not consenting to this. I do hope as a result you will not place this child into the obliquely-referenced 'building works' like you did the last one.