Donald Trump: “I don’t think this election is nearly rigged enough”

At a press conference this morning Republican candidate Donald Trump spoke out about the outrage of people who didn’t support him being allowed to vote.  “If you didn’t come to one of my rallies,” he said, “then I consider you un-American.  You don’t deserve to vote.  You’re probably a communist.  Or a Mexican.  Or worse, a liberal.  If you don’t have a gun, and little fingers, you shouldn’t vote.  If your name is similar to someone who’s been in prison, then no vote – if you can’t take care of your own name then why should I listen to you?  If you don’t have money, why should you be allowed to vote?  If your name isn’t Donald Tiberius Trumphammer, then why should you vote?  Why should anyone but me vote?  Why?  Trumphammer the Triumpant asks why?  WHY!”

At this point medics were called, but the press conference seemed to continue without anyone much noticing, the chants of “USA!  USA!” continuing unabated.