Nation rocked as entire basis of the British Honours system finally dawns on public

After more revelations about the nature of David Cameron’s farewell honours list today, the public were appalled to be told that an honours system entirely at the whim of the Prime Minister could be allocated entirely at the whim of the Prime Minister.

“It doesn’t seem right,” said one utter dullard with no understanding of the system whatsoever.  “I mean, it’s not like he’s elected or anything, is it?  And then the Queen actually gives them out, doesn’t she?  What’s that about?”

Another random person dragged from their daily shop said: “Surely there’s some kind of system, isn’t there?  You know, like a points system or something.  Doesn’t Australia have that?  Or is that immigration?”

Sir Philip Green, interviewed later, said “I thought British Honours System was what BHS stood for, which is why I tried to bring it down from within.  Now, where’s my yacht?”

A government spokesman, who asked not to be named, suggest that the public should remain at home until the reality of their own ignorance sinks in fully.