In a trial conducted in what has to be admitted is a very dull office in Basingstoke, researchers found that an annoying watch buzzing when it wants you to get up had a 45% less chance of achieving that aim than a drunk bloke called Baz running through the office shouting “I’ve had a feckin’ skinful, by the way”.
According to Gill Flatliner-Placemat, who works in HR for legal firm Corpus, Corpus and Deathgrip: “I find the buzzing annoying, and sometimes I get up, but when Baz burst into our office we all had to run for the door. I did two hundred steps before I knew it, plus there’s a bonding experience in all trying to hide in the stationery cupboard together. It’s really transformed our working environment.”
Sales of “Drunken Baz Experience” vouchers rocketed on the news, and it is expected that the government is going to present a “Drunken Baz” bill in the next parliament in the hope that it will more than pay for itself in reduced NHS expenses.