Readers were shocked today to find out that sometimes a news story doesn’t actually say what the headline does, and were scientifically proven to be utter twatwads when they shared the post on social media without reading it.
Bob Holnes (no relation) of East Finchley (no relation), said “The headline agreed with me, and that’s enough, right? I don’t want to waste my time actually reading shit. What’s that about? I’ve got to get back to my casual racism and discussing all the issues I believe in with all the guys down the pub who agree with me. Oh, and my balls aren’t going to scratch themselves, are they?”
Dr Edgar Fanhangle (no relation), Professor of Confirmation Bias at the University of Ennui, Basingstoke, said “That’s an obvious case of confirmation bias, one of the clearest I’ve ever seen” before we’d even told him what we wanted to talk to him about.
A local reader, Peter McKenzie (no relation), said “It’s no good. I tell them the article is made up, or doesn’t actually say what they think, but they carry on sharing it. I don’t understand. Why don’t they read it?” He then began sobbing quietly.